Falling Away
by Wonder Squint
Summary: The team go out for drinks. A more than tipsy Van Pelt mixed with a polite gesture to escort her home leads to some questionable actions and more. Set post-3x14 "blood for blood" engagement. one-shot.


_Summary: The team go out for drinks. A more than tipsy Van Pelt mixed with a polite gesture to escort her home leads to some questionable actions and more. Set post-3x14 "blood for blood" engagement. one-shot._

_Just a random one-shot with some thoughts and such. Please read and review and try to enjoy my terribly awful writing._

_Copyright: i still own nothing :(_

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**FALLING AWAY**

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The soft and comforting music filled the entire bar. In one corner, there sat a group of college kids, finding it difficult to contain themselves from ordering more drinks. In an another, there was a couple, groping over each other after a substantial number of casual beers. Then, in the booth at the back of the bar, furthest away from the rest, there sat the five members of the CBI's Serious Crimes Unit. Jane had been showing off once again with his 'magic' tricks, leaving Lisbon in a state of irritation, Cho in a phase of unimpressed humour and Rigsby in an utter bewilderment.

The youngest member however, wasn't paying attention, instead her eyes were staring down at her hands, generally fixed upon the irritatingly large and beautiful ring on her left hand. She toted it around all day, slightly blinding all those she passed by the sharp glimmer it reflected from the ever-present California sun. As Jane prattled on about a random topic, they were surprised by the lack of a confident and eloquent comeback from the redhead herself.

They turned to her and she looked up, her eyes falling on all of their questioning faces but that glance had - of course, as always - lingered somewhat longer on the tall, dark-haired agent. "What?" She asked confused. They shrugged and went back to Jane's little show. However, Rigsby continued to watch Grace. He sat opposite of her and Jane; Cho sat in the middle against the back of the booth and Lisbon next to Rigsby. Grace felt his eyes on her; she looked back up, again asking the same question. "Are you okay?" He replied.

Grace leaned back and closed her eyes with a deep sigh. Jane continued to 'amuse' Lisbon and Cho but his eyes turned to Grace quickly, noticing her behaviour. She opened her eyes, forced a half smile at her ex-lover, but didn't reply and ordered herself another beer, which would count as her fourth.

After another slow ten minutes, Grace had finished fourth and fifth bottle of beer and was now up at the bar, harassing the bartender for a much heavier beverage. He handed it to her and she gulped it down in half a second, followed by a couple others. Rigsby finally pulled himself out of the booth and over to Grace. He gently placed his hand on the small of her back and whispered in her ear. "Grace? Do you maybe want to stop now?"

She turned to him with wide eyes. "Wayne! Hello!" She greeted him with a more than chipper attitude, her volume overpowering the music's. Rigsby found it difficult to contain laughter but he managed to as she grinned up at him.

"You're drunk." He added.

Grace shook her head quickly, almost having to grab her head to stop it moving. "Nope!" Her volume not any lower.

"Well you're definitely not sober." He stated, pulling the next shot from her grasp. The bartender approached them and relieved the table in front of them of the now many empty glasses. "You can say that again." He raised his eyes at her. Grace turned and glared as best she should and then turned to Rigsby, grinning again. "I'm tipsy... that's all."

He nodded. "Well, tipsy or not, it's late and we're all heading home and you're not staying here by yourself to turn from 'tipsy' to full on hammered." He offered to help her with her jacket but she objected and pushed his arms away. "Then stay with me. We can both get, as you say 'hammered' " Her speech was gradual and slow, almost slurring.

Rigsby shook his head. "Grace." He gave her _that_ look and even in her less attentive moods, she still remembered it well. It either meant 'don't argue with me' or 'let's not fight." the silent undertone of both seeking the same end.

Grace sighed as she began to give into her weariness. She accepted the help with her jacket and as she stood from the stool, her legs gave way beneath her but fortunately, she had help with standing too. He always helped, whenever she needed anything, he was there. She clutched to his shirt and he smiled down at her as she allowed her head to fall against his shoulder as his left arm wound around her back and held her waist firmly, the other hand holding hers as they exited the bar.

Jane, Lisbon and Cho had already gone home, bidding each other a goodnight and pleasant weekend as they left simultaneously. Jane pointed out that Grace was in no state to drive home, therefore one of them - Rigsby - were going to have to escort her there. So Rigsby settled her into his car and they drove to Grace's apartment. He hadn't been there since the night before they broke up. Well... he hadn't been _inside _but sometimes on the way back to his apartment after his shift, he parked his car outside and stared up at her living room window, hoping that she would go out again and drive to his place, regretting all the decisions she had made in their break-up. Then - to his deepest desires - pick up where they left off and she would allow him to leave the unit... For them. She disappointed him every night. She didn't show up at his door, gracing him with her presence and she didn't seem to regret her choice. All of his bruised and battered hopes of her returning to him had been shattered the moment she had told him that she was engaged to O'Laughlin.

He tried not to think about it for a while, well not even a while. After a minute or so, he gave up and accepted that his mind would only care to think of Grace and in so doing, hurtfully reminding him that she was to be married to the FBI agent. Then he accepted it and his heart and mind agreed that its goal was to see Grace Van Pelt happy, even if he wasn't the cause of that happiness.

Silence filled the car as they drove through the reasonably quiet streets of Sacramento. Grace rested her head on the window, her vision becoming slightly blurry from the alcohol, causing the lights from cars, bars and street lambs to turn to bokehs of light. Rigsby still didn't know what was bothering her to make her drink like that. He made a mental note to discover that very thing before he left her that night and returned to his own apartment.

Five minutes of agonizing silence had passed quickly for Grace and they were now entering her apartment, still neither daring to say anything.

Rigsby closed her door and took a few small steps into his favourite 'material' place in the world: Grace's quaint and charming home. As he soaked himself into the air that was so familiar to him, the memories came flooding back. The first night they had gone there after work and made-love until the sun broke into the darkness of night, was his most cherished memory. He had compiled an enormous library of thoughts and memories of Grace and their times together as friends, colleagues and most importantly... lovers.

Grace turned to him after pulling her shoes and jacket off, dropping them carelessly to the hard laminate floor. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, brushing it back and down her shoulders. He noticed how near the end of each day it became less straight as her natural curls and waves began to immerge from the long smooth strands. Rigsby preferred it loose and curly. It reminded him of another of his fonder memories when she had woken upon his chest in one of their many pleasing mornings together, after long shift of love making. He remembered how he watched her sleep for almost an hour before she woke. The sun's light bled into the bedroom and shone upon her hair, revealing every single variation of red that made up her stunning auburn mane.

She opened her eyes to watch Rigsby with his hands in his pockets and arms tight at his sides, not sure of what to say. Simply leaving her didn't seem right or natural and she agreed, although, she had no idea of what to say either but she was still 'tipsy' and thinking incoherently. Grace felt no boundaries in her actions in that single moment she watched him. Without another rambling thought, she threw herself at him, closing the burning space between their bodies and lips. Her tongue fought for dominance and slid into his mouth as his reaction time caught up to her sudden actions.

Rigsby instinctively wrapped his arms right around her body, pulling her tighter to his. They were so firmly attached to each other that it would most likely hurt but they were far too deep into the most unexpected kiss ever, to notice.

Grace's nails dug into his scalp as he lifted her from the ground and onto his hips, her legs quickly wrapping around his waist. Their lips hadn't broke apart until they came to the arm of the couch where she fell backwards, pulling him down with her. He propped up, hovering above her body, still commencing in their kiss. Grace then made quick work of Rigsby's shirt, pulling the buttons free of their places; a couple went flying across the living room as she did. Neither cared that they weren't feeding their bodies with the essential nutrients such as Oxygen while they fed them with love, lust and longing.

He pushed the shirt from his shoulders as he worked on her belt, frequently stroking her belly under her shirt. They finally broke their lips from each other's but Rigsby's floated towards her neck and collarbone, where he nibbled lightly. She felt his excitement against her leg and then teased him more by sucking his ear lobe. He groaned with pleasure against her neck but then as her nails scratched along his bare back, he realised what they were doing. He reluctantly pulled his body from hers. She never looked more beautiful than she did at that moment as she lay beneath him.

He inhaled and jumped from the couch quickly, picking up his shirt. Grace sat up and looked up at him with utter confusion and disappointment on her face.

"We can't." He breathed, eyes closed. He had to muster up a lot of courage to turn _that _particular activity down.

"Why not?" Her gaze was killing him. He found it almost impossible to refuse her. She stood, and pushed his shirt from his shoulders again. Her hands began at his neck, past his shoulders and down his chest and around his waist. The lightness of her fingers felt like fire against his skin. She was killing him by her touch and surreal closeness and she knew it. Her hands continued roaming his glorious body and were now travelling up his arms, leaving Goosebumps from where she caressed. Her hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled herself to him roughly. She looked up into his eyes and saw exactly what she was doing to him. His control was fading and he was in pain just trying to keep it. She smiled slyly and brought her lips to his neck. Kissing, biting, and sucking each section of skin that she touched. Her hands continued to travel his chest arms and back, dragging her nails along the contours of his muscular form.

Her hands met over his heart and felt how powerful it was. She felt every beat pushing against her hand. One time, as they lay together before falling off to sleep, she felt the same heartbeat and began to worry. Grace didn't think it was normal for a heart to beat so forcefully and fast but he reassured her that he was fine and that that was what she did to him. His heartbeat was proof of how excited and ecstatic she made him. She remembered how he told her that everything she did, everyway she moved, spoke and simply lived, touched him in every way possible, more than he could admit. That was what gave her the final bit of reassurance that Wayne Rigsby was indeed, deeply in love with her. Having a man like Rigsby love her so much meant everything to Grace. She was lucky because most people spend their whole lives searching for someone like him and she wasn't even looking when he came into her life.

Her mouth didn't stop as she thought of times past. His skin turned red beneath her teeth then.

Rigsby shook his head, breathed heavily and grabbed her hands, keeping them still. "Grace, Stop!" He tried to remain calm and controlled for if he lost it, he would most certainly fling her over his shoulder, walk speedily to her bedroom and seduce her just as she had done to him. The potential for what this night could become would fight beyond passion, because both Grace and Rigsby yearned for each other so much and their lonely bodies would finally be complete again. "You aren't even fully aware of what we were about to do."

"I so was. I'm sobering up now." Grace objected, an almost pleading look in her eyes. She tried to pry her hands from his so that she continue her torment upon him.

He held her hands tighter as he felt her attempt to pull free. "No you're not. If you were sober, I'd be on my way out right now and we can't. You love him, and you don't love me like you did." He spoke slowly and quietly.

Grace's hand froze on his chest immediately, ready to object. "But i do. I never stopped loving you and it never stopped hurting after we broke up. I love you still like i loved you then. To answer the question i know you're thinking, that's what's wrong. Loving you is wrong when I'm getting married to Craig."

"Grace... don't." He closed his eyes in frustration, finding it difficult to look at her without wanting to continue where he stopped.

She pulled herself from him. Fury built up and her eyes conveyed just that. "Don't what? Love you? Oh, I'm sorry i didn't know i had a choice in that. That's like asking you not to love me."

"You did."

"I did not!" She glared daggers at him.

"Not exactly, no, but you didn't want me to. At first you avoided me because of it." Rigsby tried to remain composed and somehow relaxed because she certainly wasn't and he knew that when she was angry with him, there was no hope in him being the winner. Grace always won... somehow.

She was sobering up now, much to her dismay. "Yes, i did avoid you but i was just starting out then and i vividly remember that in my second year in the unit, i gave into my feelings and let myself love you. So, the avoiding phase doesn't really count for anything does it? You have no right to ask me not to love you."

"I do, when my intentions in asking are for your own good. I don't want you to marry him and still love me. I know how difficult and hurting that will be for you and also, knowing that you still love me won't help me move on either."

Grace fell onto the couch, feeling somewhat defeated but of course, both knew neither was winning tonight. "I'm sorry, Wayne but i can't not love you. Whether i marry Craig or not, you'll always be in my heart."

"Then I'm sorry too." He concluded. A part of him was glad that, that was the case. Grace's love for him was all he could merely hope for but then, he was only human after all, and he wanted and needed more than that reassurance.

They didn't look at each other then. Their eyes refused to meet because they knew that their gazes proved much more than what they were saying.

Grace sighed. "Let's just forget about tonight and continue to be friends."

Rigsby nodded simply. "As much as i hate to agree, yes, let's do that."

"Goodnight then." There was nothing left to say. They both got their chance and said their bit.

"Goodnight Grace." He turned and left without another thought or word, afraid it would wreck his unwanted decision to leave.

Grace had reached the door seconds after he closed it from the other side. She put her hand and forehead to the wood, tears welling up. She could feel him on the other side of the door, his much larger hand burning through the wood and onto hers. She let out a sob and Rigsby heard her. His heart broke as he heard her sorrow and pain while his very own tears thrived in his eyes.

She felt his regret at that moment but she knew he wouldn't open the door and return to her deprived embrace. So they remained on opposites sides of her door, feeling each other's misery throbbing into one another. Both Rigsby and Grace prided themselves on being able to keep their urges and desires under a recessive manner. They just wanted it to stop and allow the world to fall away beneath them.


End file.
